10 Things Every Christian Woman Should Look For In A Man

WHAT SHOULD A CHRISTIAN WOMAN SEEK IN A MAN?

When it comes to relationships, some issues are certainly important in our partners. And these important issues cannot be glossed over, neither should they be vague in our minds regarding our partners. In fact, we must be so clear about them that there should not be a shred of doubt in our minds.

Unfortunately, even as adults, many of us struggle to know what is important in a significant other. I certainly did. Like so many young adults, I chased the experience of dating, grew addicted to the highs and lows of dysfunctional relationships, and suffered the risk of bringing these bad habits into my marriage. Thank goodness, and by God's grace, I have come to the realization of separating the chaff from the substance.

In many young couples, the patterns of what will work, and what will end terribly is often clear but they ever so often either are ignorant of it, or simply turn a blind eye to it. Many awful compromises of morals and logic are made when strong feelings get in the way. On the other hand, some go about dating in such a calculated way that no one can ever meet their “standards.” These are all totally wrong.

Asking the Right Question

One of the biggest problems, if not the only problem, is that most singles try to answer the same recurring question: “Who should I date?” But the problem is that’s the wrong question. Rather the question you should be asking is “Who should I marry?” Lift your eyes above the here and now—above the fun of dating a stranger, the emotional rush of a long phone conversation, or the pursuit of premarital intimacy—and start to think about dating with the end in mind.

Ladies, sometimes it seems that when a guy “finally” gives you attention everything else goes out the window. But if you focus your attention on finding the traits that make a good husband—and not simply a good date—you’ll be much more likely to end up with “happily ever after” instead of a heartbreak.

10 Things a Woman Should Look For (And a Man Should Be)

In answering that all-important question, “Who should I marry?”, every woman should consciously look for and follow that man with the following ten attributes (or habits). Women should seek to want to marry a guy who is:

1). Submissive to authority

Rebellious guys might grab your heart for a moment, but they will not lead you or themselves well. You want someone who will admit that he is not always right, and be willing to change when others point that out to him. Does he listen to others and yield to wisdom?
Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you. (Hebrews 13:17)

2). Honest

Does he say what he means and do what he says? Does he go out of his way to speak with whole, complete, and concentrated truth? Without honesty, you cannot trust what he says—including when he says he will commit to you in marriage.
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; (1 Corinthians 13:6)

3). Kind

Is he nice to others around him? Don’t expect him to be consistently kind to you long-term if he is not kind to others.
And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, (2 Timothy 2:24)

4). Selfless

Does he think of your needs, and the needs of others, ahead of his own? Is he generous and willing to share his possessions and time with others? Husbands are called to love their wives selflessly and sacrificially, “just as Christ loved the church”
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:25).

5). Patient

Is he willing to wait for good things? Does he value you enough to wait for you? “Patient” is the very first word used to describe love in the famous “love chapter”
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (1 Corinthians 13:4; NIV).

6). Courageous

Will he stand for what is right when it is difficult, embarrassing, or unpopular? Will he stand up to protect you?
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. (1 Corinthians 16:13; NIV)

7). Gentle

Can he control his strength, and balance it with grace?
Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. (1 Timothy 3:2-3; NIV)

8). Diligent

A diligent person can be counted on to provide. Does he work hard?
Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor. (Proverbs 12:24; NIV)

9). Faithful

This insinuates a reputation. Anyone can fake the things on this list when trying to impress a girl. Does he have a reputation consistent with these character traits?
Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? (Proverbs 20:6; NIV)

10). Committed to Christ

Christ should be the focus of his life. This looks like yielding to His word, being prayerful, living in community, and being committed to a body of believers. If this is there, #1-9 will be too.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-25)

In Conclusion

These issues are as important to a man as they are to a woman. Men should strive to develop these qualities, and there is no short cut to developing them except by trusting fully in Christ and submitting to His Holy Spirit. On the other hand, women should look for a man with these qualities because such a man is the kind that would bring gladness and sweetness into their lives. Of course, bear in mind that no man is going to be perfect — you can’t marry Jesus — but choose someone who is striving to be like Him.

Also read: How to Find the Right Man from God

All Bible quotations in this article have been taken from the New International Version® (NIV®)